172 Days of Love

172 Days of Love

For 172 days you were mine to nourish, love and care for

Forever I wanted to know what you looked like, smelled like, felt like

I wanted you so much more

Knowing that you were ours forever to share

The feeling and passion was overwhelming

Nothing could compare

I waited anxiously for you to arrive and be seen

I am your mother now which I’m not sure what that means

I was so excited, scared, happy and now complete

You have arrived; you’re here, now we get to meet

The 12 days you were here, I tried not to shed a tear

I tried to be strong for you, love you, embrace you

With daddy, who showed all the love he has for you too

You are so beautiful, healthy, so tiny but so strong

I definitely didn’t think that anything could go wrong

You are gone now and I’m not sure why

I now believe it is to protect us from above in the clear blue sky

You are now our angel so amazing so sweet

It’s hard for me to cry for you, or to feel so weak

We celebrate and enjoy the time we had with you my love

Spread your wings my angel and shine in the heavens above!

We love you so much AJ. You will always be remembered!

By: LaChel Hunt

Aj passed away on wed 4/29/2009 from NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis) he had a pin hole leak in his intestines which caused BM and air to go into his abdomen, which caused an infection. He was taken to children's hospital where surgeons cut an incision into is abdomen and out a tube for everything to drain out. At first we thought this was going to work and he wont need any other surgery. The next day his oxygen settings were on the highest level, his blood presssure and blood gases were really low, which made his heart rate low. We spoke to the surgeons and they said they rather not do surgery because hes on medication and the surgery couldve been worse for him. Later on in the day his rate consistantly stayed in the 70's. and then it dropped to the 30's. where the docotrs had to do CPR. he was so fragile that it made him bleed from the inside. I tried not to give up and told them to keep going, but I realized that I was being selfish and told them to stop. Before I did though, we made sure that he was baptized which I thought may help me with my faith, but it only pushed me further away from GOD.

I wasnt trying to get into any detail so it may sound like ramble. But I just wanted everyone to know what happened.

I LOVE U SO MUCH MY ANGEL xoxoxoxxoxo

4/29/2009

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY...ALL I CAN SAY IS REST IN PEACE MY LOVE. I AM SO SORRY THAT I COULDNT MAKE THINGS BETTER. ITS SO HARD TO DEAL WITH. Y US. U DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. WE DESERVED YOU. WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE. Y US????? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY, FOREVER AND ALWAYS IN MY HEART. YOU ARE NO LONGER SUFFERING, NOW I JUST HAVE TO GRIEVE AND REMEMBER THE 12 DAYS THAT YOU WERE HERE....



ANTHONY LEOPOLDO QUEBRAL JR

4/17/2009-4/29/2009

OUR PRECIOUS ANGEL

4/27/2009

I went to see Aj around 2:30pm today with my dad. As soon as we walk in they are doing some x-rays and changing his linens. So we had to wait for about 10 minutes. So we went to go be with him and the nurse kept messing with him, which caused him to desat. She kept flipping him on his back and then stomach. Come to find out he had water in his ventilator. So most of our visit consisted of him desat and his heart going below 100bpm. He looked really good. He had an IV put in his arm today because he had one taken out of his umbilical cord. We was out of it, he looked so tired but resting so peacefully. He has been on feedings every 3 hours now, rather than 4 or 6. I want to hold him today, but Daddy Anthony has to work late, but I hope. Let you know a little bit later. He weighed 710 grams last night, which is about 1lb 9oz which I am really excited about because I know the milk is helping him grow. When he was born he was 693 grams. Love you munchkin and hope to see you a little later.

So Anthony got in really late tonight so we didn't go see Aj, but I have to understand because he works so hard to make sure that his family is taken care of. I called the night nurse and she told me the he is 12.4 inches. So he has grown a little because when he was born he was a little under 12 inch. I'm going to find out the exact inches, b/c I'm still not sure. Aj weighed 1lb 9oz today, he didn't gain any weight since last night!! Its okay, I know it takes time. We love you babes!!! xoxoxox

4/26/2009

Today was a good day. He hadn't had any major alarms besides the desat. He was mostly on 21% today. The highest he went up to was 25%. He was on feedings every 6 hours 1cc (1 ml) then the doctor told me that they are going to give him 1cc every 4 hours, but then changed their mind. No particular reason, they just want to take their time giving him his feedings. My grandmother came with me to the first visit. It was her first time seeing him. It was definitely nice to see her still be here to see her great grandchildren. He had his first BM today which I am really excited about. They said they gave him a suppository to help it come out better, which I can understand since he just got introduce to the breast milk.

Anthony and I went back to see him later on. I swear hes looking different day by day. That is why I take daily pictures. It was a nice visit. The nurse had to keep doing her hands on work. Taking blood, changing his fluids, flip him on his back and other things. So I kind of didn't get to spend too much time with him. But it was okay because just sitting there, knowing he was near made me feel great. I'm feeling good and I have a lot to look forward to. The nurse today said hes out his "honeymoon" phase, so at least I know hes doing good based on progress.

Thank you GOD for blessing me with this opportunity of being a mother to a strong, beautiful and determined little man. I love you and help me and my family stay strong through this whole experience. AMEN!!!

4/25/2009

Today has been a wonderful day. Aj hadnt alarm all day. He has been doing fantastic. Anthony and I went to visit him around 1:30pm. He was relaxing and very active. He did desat a little (go under 85 with his breathing) but it wasn't major because he had to get suction so that he can breath properly. He gets suction often because he does not know how to swallow yet. Other than that the visit was great. His godfather and his wife came to visit. He had an Echo screening done and his heart murmur is closed!!!!! Around 8:00pm the doctors gave him his first feeding. I am ecstatic about that. He will soon gain weight, and it makes me feel so much better knowing that I am providing that for him. Other than that, there is really nothing else to say but GOD IS GOOD!!!! I'm proud of my little boy. He is strong and oh so beautiful. love you munchkin. See you tomorrow!

4/24/2009 Happy 1 Week!

During the day Aj was having some alarms. His oxygen level was brought up from 21% to 25 % which is still really good. The doctors put him back on the insulin drip because his sugar level was high. They took some test called a blood culture to make sure that he doesn't have any infections. The results came back negative. Which is really good, but they said they are going to continue to look after it just in case. They also sent some of his saliva to get some test also, for the same reason. I went to visit him around 5:30 with Anthony's cousin' girlfriend. She wanted to see him. She loves him so much..I think that's so cute and touching.

We came back to visit after transition and he looked so comfortable. They had changed his bedding and his positioning. I swear he is looking different everyday. His skin is so tan and looks so healthy. His hair is growing in and his features are changing. There were no alarms the entire visit which I was really excited about, do to yesterday. We left around 9:30. I called at 12:00am and the nurse said he hadn't had any alarms. He has been resting and his oxygen level was brought back down to 21% ( the level of air we breath). That made my night. I know that he will have his ups and downs, so I definitely have to understand that, but he is doing so well to be a week old. Cant wait for him to be on breast milk, even though the nurse said it is not the most important thing since he is getting the nutrients that he needs. But it makes me feel good that I can do something for my little one.